I distinctly remember having a conversation with the Mayor of Del Carmen. We were talking about money, and what it essentially means for a person. I was of course, of the notion that it isn’t everything and that just having enough is what’s necessary. He scoffed (a friendly one) and mentioned that I wasn’t in “need” so I could be liberal about what it means to me.
I ruminated for a long while, having gone through everything, and with my recent transition I realize what he meant. He meant I wasn’t “hungry” enough. The kind of hunger that would make you want to be excellent and ‘change the world’. It also meant the drive to reach your goals, or to provide the best for your family. You can take in so much abuse from the world when you feel like you’re doing it for this ‘greater cause’ that would eventually see you through.
Yes, you can live simply, but the desire to “make healthcare free” or “have a comfortable life for my family” are self-motivating enough to withstand and learn and do more. An introspection that finds a lack of drive just shows a lack of goal-directedness that only this ‘hunger’ can bring.
I want that hunger. That drive towards this lofty goal, that isn’t personal – a ‘change the world’ banner of a thing that some people may have already found. It was, for the longest time, just living simply, but having done that, I realize that I could do more with what I know and have.
I want to let this hunger drive me forward. To be able to push further, and farther. To be able to plan that way into the future because that is the thing you want more than anything else.
Perhaps, in finding this thing I’m hungry for (thirsty actually sounds better but it already takes on a different meaning due to culture) I can further expand and learn and experience more.
Stay hungry, self.
truanthoughts 
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